Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 8:34 am Post subject: marriage to a non-ismaili
Hello Everyone, I'll begin by introducing myself. I'm a non-ismaili guy who lives in Pakistan. Though I don't believe in divisive labels, I guess you'd say I'm a sunni Muslim.
Now here's the problem I'd like some help with. For the past 5 years, I'd been in a relationship with an Ismaili girl and we'd grown very deeply in love. We'd been completely committed to each other and had planned to marry soon after graduating from college. For the record, I have the deepest respect for her religious beliefs, I encourage her to go to jamaat Khana and I'd agreed for our children to be Ismaili as well. The way I see it, her religious beliefs are her own and my duty as a partner is only to support them.
So far so good, right ? well, When she approached her parents with the idea of marrying a non-ismaili (or a 'non' as she calls me), they freaked out, threw dramatic fits, threatened to kill themselves, threatened to kill her and basically behaved like dramatic children. They are now forcing her to marry an ismaili guy she has no feelings for. She refuses to fight them because she feels like she has a responsibility to fulfil to her parents and is willing to sacrifice a lifetime of her own happiness for the remaining years of theirs. I feel that no parent should force their child to do this.
I feel like she is making a tremendous mistake in giving up something as rare and special as what we have and buckling under pressure to conform to archaic traditions. As I understand it Ismaili women are permitted to marry outside their sect.
If anyone knows of an instance where a couple such as we has managed to work this situation out, I would greatly appreciate help and advice
In my opinion, an Ismaili Muslim person is permitted, by the Ismaili Muslim Tariqah, to marry anyone who is from People of Book(s) or Abrahamic religions…(Chrisitian, Jews and Muslims). Marriage is just a social contract between two persons…upheld with religious blessings and procedures.
What you guys are going through is just a typical social situation that is with thousands of others if not hundreds of thousands….GOOD LUCK!
During his GJ visits to the Jamat worldwide, MHI met with non-Ismaili spouses and also encouraged them to be integrated within our institutions. So I think inter-communal marriages are gaining legitimacy in our community given the reality of the world we live in. The most important issue in these marriages is the interests of the children involved and so long as that is taken care of,it should be OK. Of course in some parts of the world, it will take longer to gain acceptance.
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